Summer Festivals…reminds me why I still want to go to Japan (and why still I can’t)

 

Cute Yukatas!

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Japanese Summer Festivals!!!. These things are absolutely wonderful, well according to most people that is. I’d love to experience it first hand. How would that be like? For one, just looking at the atmosphere on these photos, makes me really happy. I don’t even know why. The lights, the yukatas and those festival games, it reminds me of anime and live action. I’m not really saying what happens in anime is the same as real life, and I’m definitely not having some kind of completely unrealistic expectation…but really,this is as close as it can get. It’s like walking into real life anime, the streets are the same, the language, and then the things that they do…

I mean look at the atmosphere of this street.

Summer-Festival-in-Kawagoe-Japan

Casually walking here just like any other person on a normal day. Was actually my ultimate dream. It does sound kinda sad or childish- but I’ve never thought it was sad really, to me, it’s darn interesting, but that’s just me. I know I should start having normal goals in life, and there might be something terribly wrong with me because I don’t… right now, all I want is to step foot in Japan, and live there for awhile and nothing else. I’m serious.

My goals in life seems kinda stupid (sometimes I myself think that too), anyway that’s also what I’ve been told by the people around me, I’m not gonna blame them to be honest, it was just they wanted me to take my life seriously, something of which I seem incapable of, haha, well at least in terms of life-plans that is. I have never had a single serious goal or dream in my life. Sometimes I wish I just wanted to be a lawyer, engineer, doctor…all those prestigious things. My family will be so happy. It’s not that I don’t want to work (something I should be doing being a recent graduate) In actuality, a normal office job is totally fine with me, any respectable job really, as long as I do it in Japan of course, and that is the biggest problem. I do feel bad for myself and my family. I’m keeping a job right now, just to make some money, however small, but it’s not going to lead anywhere good or anywhere for that matter. The only time I feel I have a future is when I’m thinking or daydreaming about Japan, actually living there, even for just a week, makes me so happy, and rarely anything makes me happy these days.

But if I’m to be serious, What I’m really scared of is that I’ll never get to achieve that very simple(albeit silly) dream of mine, with my awfully limited resources, circumstances, and zero to none opportunity, you don’t even know. From where I live, getting to Japan can be the most difficult thing in the world, and sometimes that just makes me feel bad to no end. On the other hand, I’d like to think that while it’s difficult, it might not be impossible…right? I know I sound like an immature little girl, but maybe I still am.

I do try to stay positive about it all, I might have said I’ll be going there “soon” but that can mean anything from months to years and years, and I definitely don’t want to wait ten years for it, I would’ve been a lot older by then, and so society would’ve already forced me to move on with age-appropriate priorities(which I’m sure I’ll feel miserable in) and resigned living in Japan to be just a dream and nothing more,and what’s left for me to do but go all sour grapes about it. and That kind of horrible future scares me A LOT. …thankfully watching japan videos really help me in keeping positive…so gonna just watch or read…until the day that is. I’m actually looking for jobs that might lead me to working there…but so far, there seems to be no job, for citizens in my country…sigh.  Although what I really wish to do is be a student, but money does not allow me even that option.

PostNote: I don’t own any of this photos.

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